We hear the words terms and conditions all the time.
Most of the time we tick the terms and conditions box on an application form or contract without even reading it. Nearly if not every App on our phone has terms and conditions that we must accept before downloading it onto our phone.
Do you always read through the terms and conditions with a fine-tooth comb?
I must admit that I don’t always read these fully, I usually just click accept mindlessly.
We accept these both consciously and unconsciously but why do we just accept these rules and conditions without a second thought? We throw them on top of a mountain of rules and conditions we “must” adhere to each day but never really stop to think why?
Many of these rules are conditions we live by are there purely because of the country we were born in, the colour of our skin, the religion we grew up with, our gender, what our parents told us. These conditions were created long before we were even born and are mainly influenced by geography or cultural norms. Our parents and the generations before them, created and maintained these conditions, albeit well intended, to help, to enable and to ensure we fit the social norms of whatever culture we arrived in. God forbid we would do, say or act in a way that went against the grain and rock the boat. Some of us may have never questioned these rules and if we did we would be certain of repercussions of some sort from our family or friends. Generation to generation pass down these conditions that we become attached to and live our lives by with great detriment to us as individuals and our lives.
These conditions become the limiting beliefs that stop is from living the authentic, creative, exciting and passionate lives we were born to live.
They take away our power.
They limit our happiness, joy, imagination and sparkle.
As adults, we create our own terms and conditions that determine our beliefs, actions and how we live. We flood our vocabulary with these conditional words; should/shouldn’t, could/couldn’t, would/ wouldn’t, if, can’t, if only to name but a few. We have conversations with ourselves and others and weave a bigger web of endless conditions.
- When I lose a x amount of weight, I will happier.
- If I had more money, I could….
- If I was smarter, thinner, taller, I could…
- I can’t do ___, what if ___ happens?
- If only I could….
- I should do more of …
Inevitably all the terms and conditions we place on ourselves, consciously or unconsciously inhibit us from being real to ourselves and others. They limit our ability to be present and happy in this moment because we are always waiting for this perfect moment, meanwhile life is passing us by.
Our relationships are placed in a maze of conditions too.
- If my boss acknowledged all the hard work I do I would enjoy my job more.
- He/she should never have said that.
- He/she should apologise for treating me that way and making me feel like this.
- They wouldn’t treat me this way if they really loved me.
- What would my mother/father say if…?
We could spend our whole lives living by these conditions that others have created and we reinforce with our thoughts, words and actions.
If we really look at them, do they have any foundation or truth?
Have you ever challenged these terms and conditions with a simple, why?
Are they just an opinion or an idea someone had a long time ago, who is probably long since dead?
Would you allow someone to order your food in a restaurant? Probably not. Then why would you give someone the power or authority to dictate the way you feel or live your life?
How freeing would it be if we were to omit these conditional words from our everyday vocabularies?
What conditions that you place on others or that others place on you would you bin, delete, get rid of it you could wave the proverbial magic wand?
How would your life look if you could eliminate the negative self talk that goes hand in hand with these terms and conditions you are living your life by?
If you could write a new contract for your life, what would the terms and conditions be?
What non-negotiables would you put in this new contract?
What new rules would you ensure were set in stone to allow you to love yourself unconditionally?
Why not move away from conditional living and thinking and try some of the following;
💙 Take back your power.
💙 Be open to new ideas, to explore and create new things.
💙 Try not to judge others, remember everyone is on their own path, just as you are.
💙 Be aware of the words you are using in every conversation. Try and catch yourself using these conditional words and flip them to a more positive statement. Remember our thoughts become our words, our words become out actions and our actions become our reality.
💙 Write your own contract for your life. Write down what your terms and conditions are for you and those in your life. Write down what you will and will not tolerate from yourself and others from now on.
💙 Last but definitely not least, spend time with those who love you unconditionally and treat you without conditions, not those whom only show up when the conditions favour themselves.